It's the 3.35am on 1st of January 2015 (woot 2015!) as I sit at my computer desk writing this.
Yesterday, I spent a happy day with my family. Around 11pm, the husband set up a conference call with his family so we video-chatted and my MIL watched us open up the presents for Christmas from everyone in Texas. The presents had arrived late so we only got them a few days after Christmas. A very happy Dash got a new toy car and is superbly pleased with it. After he fell asleep, the husband and I watched a movie online. (The Judge - Robert Downey Junior. Made me cry bucketloads, don't suggest it unless you feel like being depressed)
The husband has gone off to sleep and I'm not sleepy yet, so I thought I'll finally refute the very very stupid accusations of me by some anonymous internet bullies who think of themselves as righteous vigilantes.
I know many have told me not to reply to them. At first, I ignored them. But their facebook post has 2,400 shares to date. Too many people have read their lies and believed them. To ask me to not respond is tantamount to admission of guilt.
I shall call them as a collective "Pussies" because only cowards don't put their identity behind their opinions. :)
(If you haven't seen the facebook page or the website, don't bother. It's a waste of time and I'm not going to link them. This post is for the Pussies and their Pussy fans to see only. )
I must admit, that as the Pussies hyped up their exposé over days, even I got a bit anxious. I was worried they will pull in my family, expose their personal details, or I might get overweight eating too much pizza.
I give credit when it's due: Thank you, Pussies, for not going so low. My family and friends are innocent and should not be involved. Good Pussies.
But what about for me? I've been on the internet for a good 12 years. God knows I've done sneaky things myself, especially thoughout my teen years when I think people won't find out. Some things I don't even remember anymore. But experience taught me I WOULD get found out. So, a combination of fear and my love for JK Rowling makes sure I try, try my best to always do the right thing rather than the easy thing.
When I first saw their excuse of an exposé, the husband and I read it together, we both laughed out loud, and couldn't stop.
They had accused me of bribing witnesses to get them to talk about Gushcloud!
Exposé snippet 1:
Dear Xiaxue and Nuffnang, stop asking people within Gushcloud's network to help spill the dirt on GC by offering cash in exchange.
You will need the cash for yourself to buy kopi once we start saying hello to all your clients. Charging them $5000 per post for ad placements on your blog which hardly top 1K views in the months before this saga?
LOL can you imagine me?? Talking to some Gushcloud ex employee and going all 無間道 serious face, wearing all patent black leather with sunglasses, a black bob wig and subtly, subtly, pushing an unmarked brown envelope over the table? HAHAHA
Here's the truth: I've been talking to loads of people who worked with Gushcloud, be it influencers or ex employees or vendors. Some of them came willing to speak to me, some I went to contact. Nothing wrong with that when I need proof and evidence for my post.
But one thing's for sure: I would never offer cash in exchange.
Lao niang got no money to offer please.
I have a shitload of sponsored products I have yet to open, I guess I will offer that first.
"Tell me about Gushcloud and I will give you 5 moisturizers
and 3 sets of blogshop clothes that fit size XS-S. Deal?"
Then sex, coz that's what sexy spies in movies do. I'll smother them with my saggy motherly boobs till they cannot resist my midgety matronly charm and they be all like "I CONFESS!!!!! Gushcloud's founders are both aliens! Stop! Stop singing Old MacDonald had a farm! No more farm animals!! Stop showing me photos of your son!!"
Sorry for putting that image in your mind. Here's a nice photoshopped picture.
Photo taken for 2B Alternative, I was singing Old Macdonald while taking it.
Next is the accusation that I have less than 1k page views a month.
Stop it, I already have stomachache from the bribery bullshit and now this!!! You really want me to burst an artery laughing????
Then, despite me tweeting that I do not get 1k a month for page views, they continued to not believe me and posted this up:
"NEVER LIES?" YOU SURE??
Ok they got these stats from the sitemeter that is embedded in my sidebar.
From there, they posted up these stats which says I had 1,133 page vists in the month of December, which is an average of:
THIRTY EIGHT PAGE VIEWS A DAY.
Any fucking moron with HALF A BRAIN can tell you that's IMPOSSIBLE.
My Gushcloud article went viral. VIRAL. It was reported in almost all news outlets in Singapore. There are 12,000 shares on facebook, and a reach over 1 freaking million!
HOW CAN IT BE THAT I HAD 45 VIEWS THE DAY IT WENT VIRAL??? (according to sitemeter daily views)
PUSSIES, NOT THAT I WANT TO BE CONDESCENDING BUT USE YOUR BRAIN LAH USE YOUR BRAIN.
You want to know why the sitemeter is inaccurate? Because some time ago, blogger made sure that their URL is customized to whatever country the viewer is in.
For example, if you are from Singapore, even if you type in http://xiaxue.blogspot.com, it auto directs to http://xiaxue.blogspot.sg, or http://xiaxue.blogspot.tw if you are in Taiwan. Try it.
Since the sitemeter is for .com, it only manages to track US traffic - although I think not accurately either.
About 20 minutes later, people whose brains are not made of bird droppings pointed out to Pussies that this statistic is impossible.
They quickly added in the edit part:
This proves they made a genuine mistake with sitemeter and it wasn't a troll bait like they claimed.
After that they deleted the entire post, and posted up a clarification on their page that their statistics are wrong (NO SHIT SHERLOCK).
It's sibeh paiseh to be making such a dumb mistake so they made no allusion to it on their badass (more like dumbass) blog, instead lying that the 1k accusation was a "troll bait" to get an exit.
Don't come and bullshit lah, it isn't troll bait, it was one of the most embarrassing mistakes people ever made on the internet, right up there with Peter Coffin and his imaginary girlfriend.
Ok now here is the truly genius part.
After being called out that their stats are inaccurate due to the .com/.sg/.ca/.cn discrepancy in blogger's urls, you'd think they've wisened up.
They went ahead to similarweb.com, entered in the URL http://xiaxue.blogspot.sg, and rubbed their hands in glee, thinking that they caught me finally:
I DON'T GET IT. ARE THEY TROLLING ME AND JUST TELLING LIES OR ARE THEY REALLY SO STUPID?
It sure doesn't sound like they are trolling me. They sound really smug and full of themselves for good quality detective work.
They've already been told my blog's visitors don't come from one URL but many. WHY THEY STILL ONLY REPORT ONE URL?
Stupid, or simply unethical?
They just conveniently didn't bother about these and reported inaccurate statistics. Statistics that a third party site with no tracker on my blog had guessed at best.
You want to see the real one? Here, Google Analytics:
If Pussies suspect me of photoshopping this data please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org so I can add you as admin on that GA account then you can sleuth all you like for foul play ok?
Anyway they also went on about how my cute little stat counter is a fraud.
Honestly, I have no idea how this site counter works.
I saw it was a widget on Blogger.com, which is owned by Google, and thought it looks cute so I put it up. Whether it is accurate or not, I have no idea and didn't bother to check. Would Google make people put up inaccurate widgets??
I was just thinking JIALAT I don't know how to counter this counter (hahaha), when suddenly someone left this link on my ig:
WAH DUA PEH GONG BO BI!!
Someone who is technically savvy explained it!! And can write really well too! Please go read ah... If TL;DR then I summarize for you: Counter is not rigged and if it isn't accurate it's not my fault but Google's.
(No I have no idea who this person is)
Anyway, continuation of Pussies' very long list of accusations... Next they said I timed each blog saga I had to a "big advertorial".
OMG I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS A SCHEMING GENIUS!!
Once again, the Pussies prove their overwhelming intellect by their ludicrous claims. In 2014, I had 11 advertorials on my blog.
It's not coincidental. My managers planned for an average of 1 per month. I have expressed that I prefer to do instagram or facebook posts because blog advertorials take me a long time to do.
As such, the waiting client list goes on for months and months. Which means that even if you wish to do a blog advertorial with me, the next available slot is in May or something.
I don't need to give them extra "saga hits" to get them to pay more... The price for all the adverts are all the same, and you think I'm so amazing want saga can write saga ah?
Was there 11 sagas I created in 2014 to match all the adverts? GOT?
AND DO NOT COMPARE ME TO GUSHCLOUD INFLATING STATS.
The text on my sidebar may say 40,000 hits daily, but it is also put up there eons ago, I just never removed it. I just clarified that I get about 6k a day on average because the blog has been so abandoned.
But in any case, it doesn't matter. Because every client who paid for a blog advertorial with me will get updated statistics from my managers, unlike Gushcloud.
They are given accurate and up to date page views, then they decide whether or not they want to pay $5,000 for it.
Who the fuck are you to decide if $5,000 is worth it or not?
Why don't you ask my clients if they are satisfied and that the money spent is worth it?
One way to find out: Satisfied customers return.
Just in 2014, I did two Datsumo Labo adverts (link, link) and two Orro adverts (link, link).
Unless you can catch my managers giving clients INFLATED STATS (or what they call "not inflated, just outdated") like Gushcloud did, you have NO RIGHT to claim I'm the same as them.
I don't know where they got their stupid (German?) instagram screenshot from, but to suggest that I would go buy instagram likes for every single post I make is so profoundly idiotic I cannot even. Sie sind dumm? Is it really so inconceivable to you how popular I am?
PUSSY LOGIC 1:
It doesn't matter that every other post I make gets, instantly, thousands of likes.
1,000 likes in 2 mins, as witnessed by many others yesterday.
No... The one time there is a glitch, it is because the midget bought likes. Xiang tai duo lah you, I really not so free to go buy likes everytime I post something ok? Scroll back... Look at the last few thousand posts and examine the likes ok? If I'm so consistant and hardworking, my managers won't be texting me everyday asking me to hand in adverts.
PUSSY LOGIC 2:
Two users who liked the post have deleted accounts, which means they must be bots, and is therefore conclusive proof that I bought likes.
WHERE IS YOUR PROOF THAT THEY ARE BOTS I BOT? I MEAN BOUGHT?
Their user accounts are gone but it could be because they are sick of instagram or changed a username or a myriad of other reasons. And where is your evidence their accounts are deleted during the purge?
I can't even
PUSSY LOGIC 3:
I lost 30k followers, therefore I bought fake followers.
I had 574k followers. Losing 30k is a mere 5%, which is a very normal percentage for everyone.
PUSSY LOGIC 4:
I buy likes, but didn't bother to buy for the ads on instagram even though they claim I would do anything for happy clients.
The image posted before the datsumo labo ad:
Yes I buy likes for all the normal pics but leave the ads hanging so clients don't return.
PUSSY LOGIC 5:
Using some dumbass app called socialbakers.com, they checked both PM Lee and my twitter account and insinuated we both bought fake twitter followers by calling him "cheeky".
Do they genuinely believe that PM Lee, the leader of our country, both a Cambridge and Harvard graduate, with countless achievements under his belt - WOULD FUCKING BE SO STUPID AS TO BUY TWITTER FOLLOWERS???
When if caught, which is easily, it is a national scandal and embarrassment??
Have some respect ya?
Here, to show how inaccurate that website is:
I believe neither of these accounts needed to or would buy followers.
PUSSY LOGIC 6:
Because I have 3.4% of fans from Cambodia, my facebook followers MUST BE BOUGHT.
Earth to Pussies: The world does not consist of Singapore only. Since you only churn out local content, obviously your illiterate fans would consist of mostly Singaporeans. Sorry you live in a well.
For me, guess what? Anyone, including Cambodians, can appreciate cute baby photos.
And I'm not sure if anyone informed you... But Singapore is a very small country. It isn't that amazing that there are more people from larger countries who will like my page than Singaporeans, even if I am primarily known here!
Their's also fake is it, huh Pussies?? Want to start an "ops" against them? *Roll eyes*
There are more Malaysians than Singaporeans liking them because THERE ARE MORE MALAYSIANS!!! 29million vs 5.4million, OK??? It's simple math!!!
I think all we can conclude from this is 1) Cambodians love using facebook 2) Social bakers is bullshit. 3) Pussies are stupid.
PUSSY LOGIC 6:
Someone who sells fake stats bought a pixel ad from me, therefore it is conclusive proof that I use them to buy fake stats.
WHERE. IS. YOUR. EVIDENCE??
Can like this anyhow say ah? Once upon a time you drank a glass of water and 3 months later someone drowned so it must be you who murdered him?
I'm not quite sure why Nuffnang's financial health is being involved in this. I suppose the Pussies were trying to prove that Nuffnang was dying and so I had to kick Gushcloud out of the picture so I can get my money's worth of the 5% shares I own.
Then, they went to write a buttload of crap based on their analysis of Nuffnang's financial reports. SO
It is super detailed and long and painstakingly written with printscreen after printscreen and charts.
BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE PROBLEM.
Oh God this is so embarrassing for the Pussies that I even blushed myself when I read their post...
As they love to call me, sibeh XIA SUAY
The financials they presented are accurate. Nuffnang Pte Ltd may indeed have a net loss of blah blah or whatever.
Maybe my shares are worth nothing - not that that matters because when I joined Nuffnang, I believed in the co-founder BossMing, his vision, and his moral ethics. Plus I've seen his giant house, his educational credentials and I thought very rich and well educated guy maybe business won't fail lah. Plus he paid me for my first blog post on Nuffnang (clearly stated it's an advertorial). That was my honest thoughts at age 22. He said he would give me some shares. I said ok lor. You give me I take. I had no idea what shares even mean. Till today, I haven't seen a single cent from those shares so they still mean nothing to me.
SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
The problem is, the Pussies' analysis are all WRONG BECAUSE THE MONEY NUFFNANG MAKES IS NOT PARKED UNDER NUFFNANG.
Nuffnang is but one subsidiary under the umbrella company Netccentric Pte Ltd.
To put it very simply, when a client wants to engage a blogger for social media postings under Churp Churp or blog advertorials under Nuffnang, they go through the sales arm of Netccentric, called Nom Nom media.
So the money Nuffnang makes is under Nom Nom's financial records, not Nuffnang's.
Boss Ming has put up some of Nuffnang's financials on the Nuffnang Blog, PLEASE READ if you really want to know more about the financial health of Nuffnang.
According to Boss Ming's entry, 2014's financials are even better than 2013. The companies seem to be in the pink of health.
And most telling of all... Even if they are broke like Pussies suggested, they do not have a QUALIFIED OPINION WITH $233K UNACCOUNTED FOR.
In other words: With or without my exposé, Nuffnang seems to be thriving.
They didn't need me to do my Gushcloud exposé. I did it on my own accord because Vincent Ha challenged me to by calling me a liar. Is that so hard to believe?
At the end of the day, my exposé was never about Nuffnang VS Gushcloud. Nor Nuffnang bloggers vs Gushcloud bloggers. It was about unethical practices in the industry.
You may argue back and forth about whether my accusations about Gushcloud are true. They have clearly admitted to parts of it, albeit in their meandering, long-winded way. (Will I be posting a rebuttal to their responses? Maybe, but not yet.)
After my post, you will find that one thing is definite:
AGENCIES AND BLOGGERS WILL NOW BE MORE CAREFUL ABOUT INFLATING STATISTICS.
Just in case they get exposed too. Gushcloud themselves probably will never do that again.
That kind of increased honesty can only be good for my industry, and that's all I wanted. Fair play. And I believe I achieved it. I believe I did good. That was my end game.
So I don't understand why the Pussies are doing this to me. This isn't for the greater good. This is simply personal.
Ever since I blogged about my support for PAP in 2012, they have been attacking me non-stop, calling me all sorts of really nasty names, non-stop, for the past 3 years. They can insult me, fine. But their fans go on about my friends, my family... They even had to insult my newborn son when he was born. I will admit this. Many times, they nearly drove me to tears. Hard to imagine huh? I have feelings too. I felt so inadequate because I couldn't protect my loved ones from these evil people and I felt so sorry that they had to suffer and be insulted because of me.
If the Pussies truly claim to be "righteous as fuck" and to respect my freedom to voice my opinions, why keep attacking me since the last General Elections till now to punish me for daring to support the incumbent? And why not praise me for the good I did for the advertising industry? Surely that cannot be denied.
Maybe they claim it's because I am dishonest or maybe my plastic face just sets them off.
Now that my blog post has proven that all the claims they have on me are false to the point of laughable, are they going to apologize for sullying my character and maligning me?
Already so many people saw it. Are they going to take it down, or continue spreading false claims about me?
Actually, their post is so embarrassingly dumb that I now wonder if they will suddenly say "SURPRISE!! It was just trolling! Not a real exposé!"
But I'm not gonna believe that. It's way too long and too detailed to be trolling. They truly believed themselves to be vigilantes and master detectives.
I cannot believe I'm writing up this fucking long post to defend myself against all the lies and inaccurate assumptions they are making.
You can never win with Anonymous, so I don't usually fight with them. Maybe the Pussies will be even happy that they tricked me to respond. It doesn't matter if they claim they are trolling. Fact is, even if they were just trolling, many people believed all their lies and they have defamed me. I had to clear my name.
Plus, it was very shiok to expose how completely idiotic the Pussies are.
I am disappointed in you, Pussies. People used to support you because you dared to speak up against the government. You were the people's voices.
Now, you are just arrogant pricks using the support of dumb and frustrated Singaporeans to earn money.
In your attempt to get more fame and thus more money, you are willing to post lies, inaccurate statistics, rumours etc to hurt people.
You are obnoxious and unrepentant when wrong. You can say whatever you want, bully anyone you wish. You take relish in sadistically punishing those you feel deserve it, like Jover Chew, with no law or regulation to tell you that's enough. You have developed a God complex.
You have gone sick with power.
And all these is because you are hiding behind the mask of anonymity.
You can punch and punch and punch, but nobody can punch you back because you are a faceless virtual being.
You can insult my looks, photoshop my pictures, dig into my past and present. And I can't do anything except defend myself.
These are real humans you are attacking here. Fight a fucking fair and honourable fight, or don't fight at all.
I don't blame the Pussies. Power is intoxicating. I know that. The owners are probably nobodies in real life, and a hate page is all they have to validate themselves.
I blame the supporters, perpetrating a group of people that was once for the greater good, but has now turned depraved and cruel.
Alas, there will always be people supporting such.
"They were a motley collection; a mixture of the weak seeking protection, the ambitious seeking some shared glory, and the thuggish gravitating toward a leader who could show them more refined forms of cruelty." — Albus Dumbledore on the forerunners of the Death Eaters
Ok I take that back. Sorry Voldy I just insulted you. Based on the weak little exposé on me, I doubt the Pussies have his brilliant evil mastermind.
YOUR EXPOSE IS A COMPLETE FAIL.
You didn't manage to prove anything because I didn't do all the things you claimed I did.
Please don't embarrass yourself so much with part 2 and triple check you have proof for everything. Just a friendly reminder. You don't have much credibility left.
p/s: Judging from the tone of the article, I find it hard to believe that the Pussies are not on Gushcloud's side.
Perhaps, this half assed troll post is a brilliant collaboration between them to distract from the topic of discussion here... My Gushcloud Exposé. Like this they super smart leh!! But that's ok, I suppose everyone is sick of that already.
p/p/s: We will see which are the biased news channels who posted up Pussies' exposé but not mine.